My experience with the holiday season is often precarious; expectations or previous layers of family history get in the way of appreciating or just allowing -what is- to unfold. This year I had a strong insight. As my younger son was leaving after a few days of lovely connecting time, I was filled with a sense of loss. I caught myself, realizing instead I could focus on all of the positive things that happened during his visit, that there was much to be grateful for. This decision inspired me to work on a collage in my art journal as a way of acknowledging and celebrating the end of the year.
A few days later I watched ‘The Story of Pi.’ Without getting into the plot, the movie ended on a very profound note. Essentially the narrator left us to decide which story was the truth, one was a quest exploring deep spiritual concepts, the other a survivalist tale exposing the darker forces of human nature. No answers were given, we were allowed to make the choice of what to believe in. This was in sync with my reflections on the past year. I choose to acknowledge my year through the eyes of gratitude, knowing that even the challenging times, (and there were many) bring me to a place of deeper wisdom, and growth. When I am grateful I am in a state of grace, not in control but accepting the beauty of life with all of its challenges. I am aware that the practice of being grateful is one that must be cultivated. Leaving the year with a feeling of fullness is one that opens me up to beginning the next with a sense of abundance. I am not half empty, I am enough and more.